A Babysitter's Guide to Monster Hunting #3 Read online

  “Get away, goth chicken,” I said.

  There was a metal creak from the middle of the door.

  Two eyes peered up at me through the brass mail slot.

  “Hi! It’s Kelly. Your babysitter!”

  The eyes seemed to smile up at me.

  The tiny brass door snapped shut. A series of locks click-clacked on the other side of the large door until it creaked open. In a burst of wings, the crow flew off behind me.

  At the door stood a seven-year-old girl, one of the Renfield twins. She was wearing a neat red dress with a large ladybug sewn on the front, a white turtleneck, white leggings, and blue shoes with buckles on them. Her hair was braided perfectly into the shape of a large tight bow.

  I bit my lip, wondering which twin she was . . . Ursula or Sabina?

  I had babysat the Renfield sisters twice before. They were cute and they had great manners, and their outfits were always perfectly matched. It was hard to tell them apart, but I knew that Ursula was the shy one, and Sabina was the chatty one.

  “Hi, Sabina,” I said, I taking off my puffy jacket.

  She smiled. Phew! I relaxed.

  “We’ve been expecting you!” said Sabina.

  She gently stroked the hair of a doll in her arm.

  “I like your dress,” I said.

  Sabina smiled coyly. “Thank you. I made it myself.”

  “Are you sure your mom didn’t help?” I asked playfully.

  Sabina scowled and thrust her doll in my face.

  “Look, lady,” Sabina said in her high-pitched dolly voice, “if Sabina says she made it herself, she made it herself.”

  I was not going to start the night off arguing with a sarcastic doll. Especially an expensive Fancy Lady doll.

  “Say hi to Lilly May,” Sabina demanded.

  “Hi, Lilly May.”

  Sabina loved Lilly May. She’d met (“met” not “bought”) her little plastic pal at the Fancy Lady Doll Store, where they sell Fancy Lady doll clothes and Fancy Lady doll jewelry and Fancy Lady doll purses. There is even a Fancy Lady stable of horses if you’re into that kind of thing. Sabina’s doll’s outfit looked like it cost more than mine.

  I checked the living room. For a house with two kids in it, it was remarkably clean. Nothing was out of place. I felt like I was standing in a furniture catalog. But . . .

  Where was the clatter of parents getting ready for their night out?

  “Where’s your mom, Sabina?”

  Sabina shook her fancy doll and continued to speak in her screechy voice. “They left five minutes ago because you were late.”

  “They left you here alone?” I said.

  “That’s what I said,” Sabina snapped in her doll voice.

  “Lilly May, be nice,” Sabina said apologetically.

  The mean doll voice was a new thing with Sabina, and it was already getting on my nerves. If she was going to use her doll to insult me but pretend like she was sorry, we were going to have problems.

  “They left a note,” Sabina said, pointing.

  A typed letter was attached to the refrigerator by a sun-shaped magnet.

  We had to leave early. We will be home soon. Have fun.

  The girls’ new bedtime is midnight.

  The Parents of Sabina and Ursula.

  I glanced at the paper. I knew the girls’ parents liked things neat and tidy, but this was a little suspicious.

  I peeked at the innocent-looking child before me.

  “Sabina, if you’re going to fake a letter from your parents, you’re gonna have to do better than this.”

  Sabina looked shocked. “Why would I do that, Kelly?”

  “Because you want to stay up until midnight.”

  “My bedtime is eight p.m. You know that, silly billy.”

  “Sabina, where’s your sister?”

  Sabina smirked, as if she had been waiting for me to ask that question. “Somewhere.”

  “Where?” I said with increasing concern.

  She waved the doll, making its long, flowing hair flap back and forth against its fleshy rubber face.

  “Hide-and-seek!” she shrieked in her doll voice. Sabina giggled and darted down the hallway.

  9

  This was getting bizarre. I didn’t want to play this strange game of theirs. I whipped a charger from my backpack and plugged my phone into the kitchen wall. An urgent need to call the twins’ parents came over me, but I had to wait for my phone battery to charge. Plus, I didn’t know their phone numbers like I knew Victor’s and Berna’s.

  I tightened the straps on my backpack and followed Sabina’s giggle up a staircase. I found her standing at the end of the hallway, peering at me from around the corner.

  “Sabina, where’s your sister?” I said.

  The little girl snickered. “Silly. I’m Ursula.”

  “Very funny, Sabina.”

  “I’m Ursula!” the little girl screamed, and stomped her foot.

  Sabina or Ursula or whoever ducked around the corner. The twin games had begun.

  “Hide-and-seek already?” I called out. “I’m a master at this. You got three minutes, tops.”

  The house was larger than I remembered, and I found myself standing in another long corridor. The twins were poised at the end of the hall, perfectly still, each with the same tiny smiles on their faces. My heart pounded as I inched closer.

  Just a giant, creepy photograph. Phew!

  I flung open door number one. It was a pristine bathroom with all-white tiles. The shower curtain was drawn closed. I whisked it back. Shink! The tub was empty.

  Thump, thump, thump.

  Tiny footsteps darted above me. The light fixture hanging from the ceiling bounced and clinked.

  Thump, thump, thump.

  I gulped.

  Are they on the roof?

  “Hey, you guys!” I shouted up at them. “You can’t be up there! Enough already.”

  The tiny footsteps stopped.

  I was about to climb out of a window and scale my way to the roof when I spotted a cord dangling from the ceiling in the hall. The trap door to the attic.

  The springs twanged as I pulled the rope. Snap! The ladder flipped open like a switchblade. I barely missed getting my teeth bashed in.

  The flimsy ladder squeaked under my steps. I carefully poked my head up into the attic. It smelled like a hamster cage up there. Boxes and unwanted things were piled to the ceiling and covered with sheets.

  “You’re getting warmer” Sabina’s voice echoed.

  “I really don’t think we should be playing up here,” I said. “I fell out of a ceiling this morning. It is no fun. Believe me.”

  Boards crisscrossed the floor over pink puffs of insulation and frayed wires. Moonlight poured in through the two oval windows, illuminating a picnic blanket.

  A dozen dolls were seated on the blanket, circling a plastic tea set. Some were Fancy Lady dolls; some were antique and porcelain-faced. Tiny teacups had been placed in front of them.

  One of the sheets rose suddenly and walked toward me. I whooshed it from Sabina’s head, and she burst into a fit of hysterical laugher.

  “I scared you! I scared you!” she screamed, and pointed up at me.

  “Takes more than that to scare a babysitter,” I said.

  I caught a glimpse of movement in a dusty mirror.

  Ursula was crouched behind a box, holding her knees to her chest. Her long, wavy hair hung over her face.

  “The winner and still Hide-and-Seek world champion,” I said, raising my fists in the air.

  “I wasn’t hiding,” said Ursula from under her curtain of hair. “I was making tea.”

  There were dark rings under Ursula’s eyes. Her fingernails were dirty. I noticed a broken piece of twig tangled in her hair. I reached for it, but she pulled away.

  “Come play with us,” Ursula said.

  Ursula sank close beside Sabina in the circle of dolls and poured invisible tea.

  “Why don’t we have y
our little tea party downstairs where it’s safer,” I suggested.

  Ursula shook her head and whispered, “They like it better up here.”

  “Fix your hair, Ursula. This is a formal gathering,” Sabina shrieked in her doll voice.

  Ursula pulled her messy hair back into a ponytail.

  “Hey, be nice,” I said to Sabina.

  “That wasn’t me. That was Lilly May,” Sabina said innocently.

  I glared at the blank-faced doll. “Be nice, Lilly May,” I said. “Or I’ll put you in time-out.”

  Sabina and Ursula exchanged worried glances.

  “You shouldn’t talk to her like that,” Ursula mumbled.

  “Well, your sister can’t talk to you like that either,” I said sternly.

  They passed a secret between their eyes.

  “I’m sorry, sister,” said Sabina.

  “That’s better,” I said. “Now can we please take this party to the living room? It’s freezing up here, and there’s like a million health and safety hazards waiting to happen.”

  I held out my hand for Ursula. Don’t think I didn’t notice that the twins looked to Lilly May for an answer.

  “We’ll go after our song,” said Sabina.

  “Yes! Our song!” said Ursula.

  Sabina held her hand out to me. “Hold my hand, Kelly,” said Sabina.

  A shaft of starlight beamed down on us as we linked hands in the cold attic.

  “Now let us begin,” Sabina said.

  The whites of her eyes grew larger as they began to sing.

  “We’re the best of friends we ever could be! The best, best the world will ever see!

  Watch us sparkle! Watch us sing! We’re the Fancy Lady dolls, and we’re everything!

  We’re your best friends, and we’re everything, everything, EVERYTHING!”

  I frowned. Just when I thought the twins were going to bust out into a seance, they were singing the commercial for the Fancy Lady doll company. Kids these days. “Forever and ever, Fancy Lady dolls, we are everything!” the twins rejoiced.

  They gave themselves a big round of applause.

  “Did you like that, Lilly May?” Ursula said.

  “Yes, Lilly May, did you like it?” Sabina asked.

  The doll stared lifelessly ahead.

  Something is definitely up. Last time I was here, they were not this odd. The only thing different is Lilly May. I need to get that doll away from these girls and inspect it pronto.

  A figment of a memory from A Babysitter’s Guide to Monster Hunting flashed into my brain.

  NAME: Dolls (For creepy puppets, see Pinocchio; murderous ventriloquist dummies, flip to V; for Demonic Toys, see Tiki Terrors)

  HEIGHT: 1’–2’

  WEIGHT: 1/2–1 lbs, depending on material it’s made of

  TYPE: Class 4 (dolls are pretty fragile and can easily be done in with a lawn mower or even a weed whacker)

  LIKES: Tea parties. Dresses. Pretty, shiny things like kitchen knives

  DISLIKES: Lawn mowers, ugly people. Being told no.

  WEAKNESSES: Lawn mowers, microwaves. Being gift wrapped.

  STRENGTHS: Supercute. Crafty. Knife work. Cunning. Small size makes them good with sneak attacks. And this point cannot be stressed enough: they are really good with knives.

  ORIGIN: Dolls can come alive for various reasons. They may be possessed by the spirit of a bad person who was murdered and needed a quick body to inhabit and is now angry to be stuck in a tiny plastic frame. The doll itself could be animated by a spell, or there could be a confused demon inside the doll.

  On rare occasions they may be humans who have been eerily reduced in size and enjoy wearing tiny, fancy clothes.

  ASSESSMENT: Little girls can have a profound connection with their dolls. Beware their influence. If the living doll turns out to be a nice little buddy, no sweat. Leave it alone. Sure, it’s weird, but kids can handle it. But if it’s an evil doll, arm yourself and build a big fire in the fireplace.

  **DO NOT try to take the doll away from the child. Instead, offer a trade in exchange for the doll.

  Good luck because once a kid loves her doll she will want to be with it forever.

  While Ursula poured Sabina more invisible tea, I studied Lilly May. The dark-eyed toy seemed to stare back at me. Lilly May had a plastic smile and a casual coolness to her expression that made her look like nothing in the world could bother her. Her happy-dead eyes beamed away. Lilly May the doll had it all figured out.

  You’ve gone nuts, Kelly. You’ve entered a staring contest with an inanimate object purchased at the mall.

  I clapped my hands together. “Okay! How ’bout we go downstairs, and I’ll make everyone some hot cocoa!”

  “Yay!” said Ursula, jumping to her feet. “With extra marshmallows!”

  Sabina glared at her sister. Ursula stopped.

  Sabina slowly stood up and took Lilly May with her as I led them carefully across the boards toward the rickety ladder. I peered down at the carpeted floor below.

  “I’ll go first and help you guys—”

  Tiny hands shoved into my back and ushered me forward.

  The world spun as I tumbled down the ladder.

  CRACK! THUD!

  The floor smacked me in the face. My vision snapped into darkness.

  10

  The ceiling blurred above me as I awoke to the twins dragging me down the hall by my arms.

  “Ursula, come on. I’m doing all the work here,” Sabina snapped at her sister.

  “I’m trying. She’s heavy,” Ursula whined. “And her backpack keeps catching on stuff.”

  In one swift move (the Folding and Flying Diaper, page 227, illustration 4A, from the guide) I yanked my arms down, sending the little girls tumbling to the floor while I used their momentum to spring to my feet. I stood over them.

  “It wasn’t us,” cried Ursula. “It was Lilly May!”

  “Be quiet, Ursula!” snapped Sabina in a shaky voice. “It was you. Tell the truth!”

  “Stop lying!” screamed Ursula. “You’re scared what Lilly May will do to you.”

  My head throbbed in pain. I squinted through my headache.

  “Stop screeching,” I said, rubbing my sore face. “I’m calling your parents. I don’t know which one of you did it, but you cannot push people like that. You’re lucky I know how to crash-land or I could have broken my neck. Both of you are in big trouble.”

  Sabina’s lower lip trembled. I shook my head, preparing myself for the onslaught of tears.

  “She did it,” Sabina whispered.

  I looked at Ursula.

  “Not her,” Sabina whispered again. “Lilly May.”

  Her eyes were big and pleading. She was begging me to believe her.

  A non-babysitter type person would have accused her of telling a fib, but not me. It was my job to listen to the weird and the bizarre tales kids told.

  Lilly May was not in Sabina’s arms. I peered up at the attic, expecting to see the doll giggling down at me. The attic was still. The hairs on the back of my neck electrified.

  “Where’s Lilly May now?” I murmured.

  The twins sniffed and wiped their noses.

  “You believe us?” Sabina said in wonder.

  “Of course I believe you.”

  “She told us we had to,” said Ursula.

  “Lilly May hates babysitters,” said Sabina.

  “She said it was the only way.”

  A metallic clang echoed through the house. It came from the kitchen.

  “Go to your room right now,” I said. “Lock the door and wait for me to say it’s safe.”

  “Please don’t go down there, Miss Kelly,” Sabina said. “She’s mean.”

  “Don’t worry, kid. I’m a babysitter. We eat killer dolls for breakfast.”

  They ran off to their room and slammed the door.

  Click-clack! My bo-staff snapped into place as I stalked down the stairs. Peering into the kitchen I saw one of the drawers
had been pulled opened. Knives were spilled across the kitchen floor.

  Why couldn’t it have been spoons? Spoons aren’t scary at all.

  I gripped my staff tight and scanned the area.

  A tuft of hair poked out from behind the garbage can in the corner. I crouched into Baby Panther position to keep my footsteps quiet as I approached the killer doll. I jabbed my staff behind the garbage can and pinned her to the ground.

  “Got you!”

  Immediately, I knew I had made a terrible mistake. The doll was not Lilly May. It was a Raggedy Ann. A decoy. Behind me a cabinet door flew open. In a burst of cornflakes, Lilly May dove at me, swinging a huge butcher knife. I spun and batted her across the kitchen, like I was hitting a home run. The little doll bounced into the refrigerator.

  Her pretty face snarled at me. The knife wavered in her tiny grip.

  “This is my house now, babysitter,” Lilly May shrieked. Her voice sounded like Sabina’s creepy doll voice. “Those girls belong to me.”

  “Not on my watch, doll,” I said, getting into warrior stance.

  Lilly May skittered toward me crazy fast, blade raised over her head. I stepped back and bumped into the pantry. I was not expecting her to be so quick. She hacked wildly at my ankles, but I managed to block her with my staff.

  I flipped her like a pancake, and she flew across the kitchen, but this time she sprang off the refrigerator and came hurling back at me like a bullet. I ducked, and her knife stabbed the wall. She dangled from the handle. Her little legs kicked furiously.

  Lilly May let out a chilling battle cry and launched at my face. I blocked her with my staff, but she grabbed on to it, and her little Mary Janes kicked me in the chin, rapid-fire.

  Thwack! Lilly May snapped my own staff in my face.

  Ow! Get a grip, Kelly. You’re getting beat up by a doll!

  I blinked through the buzzing pain in my nose. Lilly May hopped down and reached for a steak knife. I kicked her and dented in her rubber face. She snapped into whirlwind mode, flinging knives at me.

  The staff isn’t helping. Adapt, Kelly. Go in for close combat.

  I tossed the staff. Grabbed a knife. Clang!

  The evil doll and I crossed blades.